True Confessions of a Total Loser, Slacker

I know. It's been over two weeks. If you think that is the only thing that I haven't done in the past two weeks, you are sadly mistaken. The truth be told, it has been way longer than two weeks since I have done things that were probably much more important than blogging. Plans were big for the long MLK weekend. I had big plans to clean house, do laundry, clean out the refrigerator, complete a couple of DYI decorating projects, read, and in between--squeeze in Alex's basketball tournament.

My downhill slide actually began when we returned from Colorado. I really never recovered before school started January 5. I somehow stayed awake (I do mean that literally) for the first week back to school (and remember with snow days and holidays it was the first five day week in almost a month!), but nothing really was accomplished on the home front at nights and then I had to take Rachel shopping on that Saturday, and we had Jeff's party Sunday and then it was quickly back to school again. (Believe me, that two days seemed to go at lightening speed compared the last break of three weeks we'd had.) Between trying to work five days in a row for a second consecutive week and going to high school games and hauling my two children to practices for four different sports- my immune system was surely weakening. Last Friday night Rachel had a birthday party to attend and Alex had a couple of boys over for the night. I made them homemade pizza and we took them to the high school boys game and stayed up, later than we should have, just talking with them. I mean, how many nights will our middle school son and his friends want to just hang out with Jeff and me and tell all? I got up the next morning, made the boys a good breakfast since they were playing ball all day, and decided to leave all of the dirty dishes because I would be home early to accomplish all of the big plans.

Then it hit. The sneezing had come the day before, but I thought it was just allergies. Then there was the runny nose and before I knew it the throat was a little scratchy. By the time we were home Saturday afternoon the fever and achy twins were here and I was done. And so were all of the big plans. Basically I spent the rest of the weekend whining about what a loser I was and how I wasn't getting anything done and how if I could just get some sleep it would be fine. It's never fun when you are busy and can't keep up with household duties, but it's even worse when you're sick and can't do anything but lay around and stare at the mess. Tuesday came and I went back to work feeling better and when I came home I cleaned all of those dirty dishes that had piled up over the weekend. That night the kids went with Jeff to a high school game and I was so tired I was sure I'd sleep while they were gone and it was quiet.

Then it hit. My big energy spurt. I cleaned house, cleaned out the refrigerator, did laundry, mopped floors and made a grocery list. I had finally accomplished something! I finally felt better about myself as a wife, a mother and a person again!

Except I had forgotten that our new Bible study with the girls at church was starting the next evening and I had not read Esther, read the Bible study book or done any of the study guide. I knew I had to spend the next afternoon grocery shopping and picking up the kids so there was no time to prepare and soon I was at Bible study telling everyone what a total loser, slacker I was because I was unprepared. Now that I think about it, I wonder if Esther ever felt like a total loser, slacker. I kind of hope so. Because if she did, there just might be hope for me. After all, God had big plans to use Esther in a mighty way and if He had plans for her, I know He has plans for me too. He says so in Jeremiah 29:11 and I'm really glad He is not a total loser, slacker when it comes to His big plans!

Birthdays

Birthdays. When you are a kid you can't wait for them. There are even birthdays which bring certain rights and privileges that are highly anticipated. Some birthdays are so big that we have large parties and even request no gifts. But, what about the birthdays in between? Why is it that we look forward to these annual celebrations for a while and then seem to dread them? What is it that changes so we begin to make a big deal out of them again?


A little over a year ago, I turned forty. I will admit there were (and are) days that bothered me, but it shouldn't. I hope it doesn't bother Jeff. Tomorrow is his fortieth birthday. We met as kids in our Youth group at church, but we didn't really get to know each other and begin dating until he was sixteen. I think he is as handsome as when he was sixteen. I think he is smarter and wiser than when he was sixteen (because you know that I was really paying attention to his brains back then!). I think his sense of humor is even wittier than when he was sixteen (although it may be a bit more sarcastic). Obviously he has matured and changed for the better in many ways over the years, but what has improved the most is my appreciation for him. He doesn't just love, take care of, and pray for me, but also our children, his grandmothers, parents , and mother-in-law. He is always concerned for his brother, nephews and niece, sisters and brother in-law and other various family members. He is devoted to his friends and church family, worries about his employees and genuinely cares about the lives of his customers. He doesn't think he is kind or compassionate, but he doesn't see what I see. I see that the Lord has placed in him a love for people that only He can give. No, Jeff, on his own isn't really all that compassionate or patient with people, but because he allows the Lord to work in his life, he can be those things. Maybe that's what I appreciate about Jeff the most. He is just Jeff, a man who knows that without God he can do nothing. He is humble and I can appreciate that every day of my life with him.

Happy birthday, Jeff! I hope that we get to celebrate many of the in-between birthdays together as well as the big ones!

Dreaming of Spring

Imagine . . . a warm, sunny, spring day. I mean so warm that you can feel the heat on your skin. You can even feel a little bit of humidity when you breathe in. Wearing jeans and short sleeves even with the wind blowing a bit like it usually does at the beginning of spring. No need for a jacket. The kids wearing shorts and flip-flops. The kids in and out all day playing outside and then coming in a bit muddy. The sound of four-wheelers up and down the driveway. The pink skin on their faces after being in the bright sun just for one day. Turning off the heat, throwing those windows open and filling your house with fresh air. Spring cleaning and organizing. The hum of the washer and the smell of fabric softener when you are close to the outside dryer vent while you are working around the yard. The tired feeling you have at the end of the day when winter is finally over and you can get out and work your body's muscles instead of being cooped up inside. The smell of smoke in your hair and clothes when you get to roast hot dogs on an open fire. Looking at the stars and enjoying the perfectly warm evening before the summer bugs come out. Sounds great, doesn't it? Well, it was. Today was pretty much what I described, except that it is January 3!

Today is one of the reasons I feel blessed to live in Southwest Missouri. We usually get to enjoy a few unusually warm days in the winter. Those days are like when you find a five or ten dollar bill in a pair of pants you haven't worn since the last time they were in season! You knew you had the money at one time, but you had simply forgotten about it. These days are quite similar. You know we've had them, but you don't really expect to see them- they just happen one day. You have to enjoy them fully, which we did. My version of the spring day was a bit different, because my "spring" cleaning was actually taking down all of the Christmas decorations and replacing them with the snowmen that I will finish off winter with. (A bit odd for such a warm day, but hey, it won't last long.) And I didn't really work all that hard around the yard. I was actually getting some wood for the fire pit to roast our hot dogs. Plus, that load of laundry in the dryer I was writing about is wrinkling in the same spot, four hours later, but oh well. Otherwise, everything else is pretty accurate. I hope that you all enjoyed your Saturday as much as we did. Remember- don't take a warm day for granted, because if you live in Missouri you know it could drop thirty degrees overnight.

If you listen carefully (and turn up the volume) you can hear the real coyotes in the background which my children stirred up before I was able to get the camera going.